Showing posts with label Funny SMS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny SMS. Show all posts

Sunday, 11 December 2016

Best Funny Whatsapp Status in English Updates

Whatsapp Status Collection - Today We Sharing With You Best Famous Funniest Whatsapp Status in English, Million people Use Whatsapp Apps and Share Funny and Smile Feelings Yours Relations and Friends, Some People s  Find Best Angry Status For Whatsapp & Best Cute love Status For Whatsapp , Every user Find Fully Funny and New Unique Funny Whatsapp Status 
Best Funny Whatsapp Status in English Updates

Funny Whatsapp Status For Cool


Short Line Funny Whatsapp Status in English, Here Cool & Smiley Status For Whatsapp, Enjoy Our Big list Of Whatsapp Status, Here List of 1 line Status For Funny Feelings





If Sunny Leone marries Sunny Deol, she will also become


Sunny Deol :P:D:P ?


Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.


Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.


People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.


A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.


A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.


No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.


I don’t have a bank account because I don’t know my mother’s maiden name.


I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.


Weather forecast for tonight: dark.


I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.


Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.


Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.


My life needs editing.


Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.


Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.


I never said most of the things I said.


If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.


Reality continues to ruin my life.


If at first you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving.


I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.


All men are equal before fish.


I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.


If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.


TV is chewing gum for the eyes.


If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.


I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.


I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.


If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.


There’s no such thing as soy milk. It’s soy juice.


As for our majority… one is enough.

cool status for whatsapp


I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend.


We’ll love you just the way you are if you’re perfect.


Turn up the lights. I don’t want to go home in the dark.


I love to go to switzerland – if only to be near my m


I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.


Include me out.


One man is as good as another until he has written a book.


I saw a stationery store move.


Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.


Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.


Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.


I know my strong points: I work hard, I have talent, I’m funny, and I’m a good person.


To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.


You can’t really be strong until you see a funny side to things.


It’s hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.


I always just wanted to be funny. I never really planned to be scary.


If something is shocking without being funny it’s hard to justify.


I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.


You know what’s funny to me? Attitude.


If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that’s what I’d be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong.


Everybody’s funny if you love them.


Everythings funnier when youre supposed to be quiet..


Who needs television when there is so much drama on Whatsapp.


I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.


I have a date, um how do I get skinny by tomorrow?


A wise man once told me, no matter how HOT she is, somebody somewhere is sick of her….


If you need more TIME go and purchase a watch.


Brains are wonderful, I wish everyone had one. (more...)


No one is listening until you make a mistake.


People who have Mobile Contacts like ‘Mom 2’, ‘Dad 2′ scare me:|


My favourite type of people are the relatives who give me bucks when they leave. ?


You look like a before picture.


Well I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.


3 AM my cell is ringing…hey there you asleep?? No I’m Skydiving.


People said to follow your dreams so i went back to bed.


All my life a thought air was free…Until I bought a bag of chips.


Great power comes with great electricity bills.

best Funny status for whatsapp


Silence is Golden. Duct tape is Silver :3


On the other hand…you have different fingers.


I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.


Most of the fruits I know now and did not know were existed – Is only because of the shampoo


When you are on a 1% battery anyone who sends a message, Or calling, Becomes the enemy


A lazy person is the one who can turn a call into a missed call.


I love my job only when I’m on vacation.


I hate math but I love counting money.


I really wanna work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun ?


I love cakes and cakes love me back perfect relation happy ending 

I try to avoid things that make me fat …… Like weighing scales , mirrors , photographs … ?


When people don’t laugh at my jokes I just assume that they’re not up to my level of comedy.


we live in world of smart phones and stupid people ?


Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.


It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.


Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.


Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! ?


My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.


I don’t like people who buy gym memberships just to walk on a treadmill. WALKING IS FREE.


I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough ?


I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. 

Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.


When I was a kid, I used to wake up early just to watch cartoons.


I don’t always have time to study… but when I do, I don’t.


I feel my phone vibrate sometime even when it s not in my pocket


I was watching a tutorial on Whatsapp about how to sleep but it was so boring that I fell asleep


I love car rides so much that I actually get disappointed when we reach our destination.


I am not LazY i’M jUst on my eNerGy saViNg moDe.


Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.

Friday, 9 December 2016

Best Funny Whatsapp Status Update

Best Funny Status For Whatsapp in English Series 2017, Latest New Unique Best Whatsapp Status This Post include Full Funny Superhit Status & Best Whatsapp Status This Post Update top 40 Smily Status For Free.
Best Funny Whatsapp Status Update 2017


Best Whatsapp Funny Status Messages


Best List Of 2017 Funny Whatsapp Status For Smile Mood. Whatsapp Funny Messages


1)Can’t talk, telepathy only!

2)Read books instead of reading my status!

3)SI unit of ignorance = “seen”

4)My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.

5)Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out of it alive.

6)Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.

7)It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world each day fit exactly the length of newspaper.

8)I had to take sick day.I’m sick of those peoples. (more...Cool Whatsapp Status)

9)A black cat passing by the crossroad can stop hundreds of people what a RED LIGHT on traffic signal has failed to do for long time!!

10)In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.

11)When I’m a Pedestrian I Hate cars.. When I’m Driving I Hate Pedestrians…

12)You can never buy Love….But still you have to pay for it ..

13)Fact: Phone on silent mode- 10 Missed call… Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day!!

14)Some people should just give up at engineering( or medical) ………i have.

15)Everybody is so happy….I hate that.

16)I Wonder What Happen’s When Doctor’s Wife Eats An Apple A Day

17)Do you ever just lie on knees and thank god that you know me and my intelligence???

18)Who care’s ?????………..I’m awsome

19)Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?

20)Everything funnier when your supposed to be quiet..

Best Whatsapp Funny Messages in English Daily Updates


21)When I Show you a picture on my phone..don’t swipe left.don’t swipe right.Just look.

22)When I actually die some people are going to get really haunted.

23)If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.

24)If I’ve learnt anything from mayans then it’s that  ..Not finishing a project is not the end of world.

25)A book-store is only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

26)we men want the same thing from women that we want from underwear.Some support and some freedom.

27)sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason.

28)a lie is just a great story ruined by truth. (More... Girl vs Boy Whatsapp Status)

29)The only time success comes before work is in dictionary.

30)we live in the era of smart people and stupid people.

31)Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software…it’s called #Monday, please fix it

32)Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.

33)light travels faster than sound…that’s why people appear bright until they speak.

34)Hmmmm…..Don’t copy my status.

35)People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason.

36)Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL

37)People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at gym.

38)If College has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking

39)The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

40)AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.

We hope Like Our Best Whatsapp Funny Status Collection Plz Response Comments

Friday, 2 December 2016

Cigarette Attitude Status SMS DP Images For Nawabi Royal Faadu Boy

Cigarette Attitude Status SMS DP Images For Nawabi Royal Faadu Boy, Cigarette Shayari Fully Faadu Attitude Quotes Images With Status, Photo
Cigarette Attitude Status SMS DP Images For Nawabi Royal Faadu Boy

Kabhi khamoshi bhi bahut kuch keh jaati hai,
tadpane ke liye yaad reh jaati hai,
kya farak padhta hai charas ho ya gold flak,
jalne ke baad sirf raakh reh jaati hai.

Cigarette Faadu Funny Shayari SMS Images on Akelay Akelay suttay

Cigarette Funny Shayari SMS Images on Akelay Akelay suttay , Funny Attitude Royal Nawabi Faadu Shayari on Cigarette For Boys
Cigarette Faadu Funny Shayari SMS Images on Akelay Akelay suttay

Maut ke baad yaad aa raha hai koi.....
Cigarette meri kaber par jala raha hai koi..
yaa rab..! Do pal ki mohalat aur de de mujhe.
Akelay Akelay suttay laga raha hai koi.

Friday, 25 November 2016

Funny SMS Jokes in Hindi & English 2017 - Smile SMS

Funny Jokes SMS in English & Hindi, Jokes masti home SMS Collection For Friends And relation, Santa Banta Jokes, and More type Jokes in Romantic People
Funny SMS Jokes in Hindi & English - Smile SMS



Apni Girlfrnd ke samne
Dusri ladkiyo ko kaise dekhe.. ??
.
Boy: Tum ne us ladki ko dekha.
Wo Kapde usko bilkul suit nhi karte.
Girl: Saale.
Tu toh chahta hai k
ladkiyan kapde hi na pehne !!
.
Moral: Ladki Ne Pehle Hi
Sprite Pee li thi..

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Jab mene darwaja khola.
To Apki Ankho me Aansu.
Or chehre pe hasi thi.
Sanso me Aahe Dil me bebasi thi.
Pehle Q nahi bataya
Darwaje me ungli phasi thi...

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THoKar KHaKr GuNGuNaNa Hi
ZiNDaGi H
GuM Pi Kr MuSKuraNa Hi
ZiNDaGi H
1LaDKi aGar DHoKa De To
SuB KuCH BHuL Kr
DuSri Ko PaTaNa Hi ZiNDaGi H.

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Girl: Aj meri dil ka operation hai.
Boy: pata hai
Girl: I love u
Boy: mai b b0ht pyar krta hun tumse.
Operation k bad jab larki ko hosh aya
To sirf uska baap khara tha.
Girl: wo kahan hai ?
Father: tumhe ni pata tumhe dil
kisne dia ?
Girl: what ?
Or zor zor se r0ne lagi.
Father: mazak kar raha hun
Kamina
Bahar Samose Kha raha hai...

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"Shahjahan" Tha Bevkuf.
Jo Banaya Itna Mahnga
"TAAJ"

Agr Rakhta Utne Paise Bank Me
"AAZ"

To Itna Ata
"BYAZ"

Ki Roz Aati Nayi
"MUMTAZ" @
('_' )

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Gf to Bf: jb bi hum ldkiya
Gandi baatein krti hai
To tum ldko k kaan kyu khade ho jate h.
.
.
.
Bf:chal pagli use kaan thodi na khte h.

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1,ladke ne 1 hsina ko dekh kar arz kiya
Teri smile me kya chamk hai.
Wo muskura k boli-
Bhaiya
Mere TOOTHPASTE ME NAMAK Hai.

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1 Beautiful Larki ne Ghar ka
Kuch Saman 1 Gli ke
Ldke se Mngwaya,
To sman mei 30 Rs Km Pd Gye..
Us Larke Ne Apne pas se De Diye.
Ghr a kr Lrki Se kha 30Rs. km The,
Mene de Die Ha.
To Lrki ne kaha.
*I LuV U*
Wo Muskraya or Kha-
Khak
*I LuV U*
30Rs. nikal Mere

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Teacher: hamesha kaho ki mujhe sab pata hai.
Chotte at home : Papa mujhe sab pata hai ;)
Papa : beta ye 50 ruppee le aur chup rehna.
Aunty to bas milne aati hain.
Chotte : Mummy muje sab pata hai ;)
Mummy : beta ye 100 ruppee le aur chup rehna.
Raamu kaka to room saaf karte hain bas.
Chotte (nokar se): Raamu kaka mujhe sab pata hai ;)
Ramu kaka : sab jaanne ke baad bhi
Apne baap ke gale nahin lagega pagley.

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Ek family sole film dekh kar
Ghar agaye tabhi pati ne
Patni se romantic andaj me kaha
Nach basanti nach
Tabhi chota bachcha bola mummy
Is kutte ke samne mat nachna.

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Court me pati talak ke liye gaya
Pati judge se bola :
Sir i am not happy with my wife..
To Patni boli :
Kamine sara mohalla khush hai
Bus tere hi nakhre hain..

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Champa:Raat aur Suhagraat me kya fark hai?
Chameli:Suhagraat me hum kewal
Pati ke sath ho sakte hai.
Jab ki Raat me aisi koi pabandi nai hai

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Ek aurat saheli se:
Mujhe bachcha nahi ho raha!
Saheli: Tumhara pati namard hoga..?
Aurat: Mera Pati kya,
Mujhe to tumhara pati bhi namard hi lagta hai.

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Kahte hain..
Shaadi ki gaantth to
Aasman mein hi bandh jati hai..
Insan to sirf petikot salwar bra ki
Gaantthe kholne ke liye hi
Zamin par bheja jaata hai.

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Galib ne begum ka gila Whisper dekha to arz kiya,
"Ghaaghre ke niche se paani laal ata hai..
Wah wah..
Kya meri begum ka Bhosda bhi Paan khata hai".

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Boy=Mujhe pyar karti ho
To kal college me White dress pehn ke aana.
Ladki Black pehn k i
Boy=Tu jab jhuki to maine dekh liya
Ke tu mujhe andar se pyar karti hai.

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60 Year Old Couple At Dinner.
Wife: It Is So Romantic Today,
My Breasts Feel So Warm.
Husband Smiled And Said:
Of-course Dear,
Because One Is Hanging
In The Coffee & The Other In The Soup.

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Girl- Aaj mai tumhe
Wo jagah dikhaungi jahan mera
Apendix operation hua hai.
Boyfriend gets excited,
Yes!
I'wud luv to see that spot.
Girl- Ye dekho guwahati medical college.

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(-'v'-)
`*.,.*'
,..',..*'') ,,,*'')
(,,,' (,,,' ,,' ,,,,'-'.
_____****__________**** ______
___***____***____***__ *** ____
__***________****________***____
_***__________**__________***__
_***____HEART_FULL_OF______***_
_***________LOVE__________***_
__***____________________***___
___***__________________***____
____***_______________***_____
______***___________***_______
________***_______***_________
__________***___***___________
____________*****_____________
_____________***_____________
______________*_____________

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>-- OH GOD

Jo is SMS ko prh rha h usy dunia ki hr khushi dena
Q k
KUCH LOG HMESHA MUSKURTE Hue ACHE LAGTy Hai..!!.

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let
“me”
show
you..
the
best picture..
in
the world..
()”‘”() ()”‘()
( ,’o’ ) ( ‘o’,)
(,) (,) (,) (,)
=hum tum=
friends.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


P0rn films are actually very positiv emovies..
No bombing, no murders,
All love each other and with happy endings...

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Wo Kehte H Ladne Se "Mohabbat" Badhti Hai..
Yeh Sunte Hi Hum Uski Ankh Pe
"Mukka" Mar K Bhag Aaye!
:-

<(',')>
. ("(
_/ /_ Thik Kiya Na.!

Funny SMS Part-1

{50+} Funny SMS - New Romantic Funny SMS - Jokes SMS

Best 2016 Funny SMS Collection Of Smile, Funny Jokes SMS in Hindi For Whatsapp and facebook Share Smile Your Relation and Friends, Smiley Jokes SMS in Hindi & SMS Collection
Funny SMS - New Romantic Funny SMS - Jokes SMS




Vikhari : sahab 6 rupees do coffe pina hai,
Malik : kyun coffee to 3 rupees hai,
V : sahab sat me girlfreind bhi hai,
M : vikhari hokar v girlfreind bana lia ?
V : nehi sahab girlfreind vikhari bana diya.

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Apni mohabat ka izhar karne walahun,
chitthi nahi pyar karne wala hun,
koi haseena to ab ghas dalti hi nahi,
koi haseena to ab ghas dalti hi nahi,
isi liye ek budiya se ishq karne wala hun….

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Badi muddat baad aaj phone par uski awaz suni
toh...
.
.
.
dil n dhadakte hue kaha.. .
.
.
.
.
. .
.
..
.
jaldi yaad kar kamine konsi wali hai.

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X karte waqt callgirl ko hichki aayi
To uper chade ladke ne puchha
Ladka-kya hua?
Callgirl-jaldi kar Be,
Bahar aur bhi hain
Jo hila hila k yad kar rahe hain.

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Jokes SMS in English

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Call girl ke birthday par
Saheli ne sms kiya:
Har adami tere nange badan
Pe barse,
Tere jevan mein aaye itne
Customer,
Ke tu pura sal bra-panty
Pehnne ko tarse.

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Na yad karo kisi ko itna ki,
'USKI' har saas 'TUMHARI' kamjori ban jaye.
Par zarur chaho kisi ko itna ki
'USKI MAA' tumhari saas ban jaye..

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Teacher- bachcho muh me
Kya kya chize nhi leni chahiye.?
.
.
Little student- pencil,
Rabr anguli or jalta huaa blab..
Teacher- jalta huaa blb kyo?
Little student- kyo ki rat ko
Mummy papa se kahati h
"Balb jl raha h
Me muh me nhi lungi.

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Sir Miss k B*obs daba Raha tha to
1 Bache ne Dekh Lia
Sir-Beta
Miss k Sine me Dard H Islye Daba
Raha hu
.
.
Bacha- Bhen k Lavde HBO Dekhta hu Pogo Nahi..

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Pregnant Lady went to Astrologer.
Astrologer: When U Deliver a Baby,
The Father will Die.
Lady: Thank God.....
!
!
!
!
My Husband is Safe...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Love marriage aur arrange marrige,
Kya difference hai?
Hum khud jakar kunwe me gire
Wo love marriage,
500 log milkar dhakka de
To arrange marriage.

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How To Teach Mathematics To A Girl.
1st add lips
2nd minus clothes
3rd divide legs
and then start Multiplication
In the Sweetest Point.

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Jokes Masti SMS

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Girl :"my left leg is lunch and
My right leg is dinner,
What would you like to have?
Pappu :"I would like to have,
Snacks between lunch and dinner"

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Boy:U sang very beautifully,
Girl:Thanks but i'm just a Bathroom singer,
Boy: Den invite me 2 any of ur live concerts..!

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Behind Every FAIL Student,
There Is A HOT Girlfriend
And
What About TOPPERS?
A HOT Madam Jiski Wajah Se
Kaminay Sari Classes Attend Krte Hain.

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Boy:what is that u keep in ur mouth
Which is6inch long and move it in and out
And wait for a substance to come Out?
Girl: y do u ask such question to Me.
I cant tell such words Boy:
Don't worry its tooth brush

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Wife: Hi, Did You Eat?
Husband: Did You Eat?
Wife: Are You Copying Me?
Husband: Are You Copying Me?
Wife: I Love You!
Husband: Yes, I Already Eat.

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I have a confession to make
ever since I met u
Its been hard for me to 4get u
Every night I see u in my dreams
And find myself shouting
GHOST GHOST !!!

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After robbing d Bank,
Robber 2 clerk:
Did u see me robbing?
Clerk: Yes.
Robber shot him dead &
Asked d next clerk: Did u?
2nd clerk: No, But my wife saw u!

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A husband in a book store:
Do you have this book:
"Man, The master of Woman!"
Sales Girl: The fiction department,
Is on the 1st floor, Sir.

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Boy i love you.
Girl i hate you.
Boy why this kolavery Di,
Girl pls dont sing this song...
Love you.

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Latest SMS 2016 - Funny SMS

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2 Lovers plan to suicide.
Boy jumped first,
Girl closed her eyes and return
Back saying love is blind.
Boy in air opened his parachute,
saying love never dies.

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Best medicine for the human creature is LOVE !
Someone asked GOD, if it doesn't work?
HE smiled and answered ;
INCREASE THE DOSE !!

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The most beautiful words
by a Lover -
I Never Stopped Loving You,
I Just Stopped Showing It.

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Evening Mastiii
Wife:-I will die.
Husband:- I will also die.
Wife:-why will you die?
Husband:- because I can't bear that much happiness.

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A Public Msg:
A Girl May Not Help U To
Get Lot Of Marks..
But Marks May Help U to
Get Lot Of Girls..
So Luv Your Studies,
Not Girls..!!

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Tumse pyar hum is tarah nibhayenge
Hazaar baar ruthoge to bhi manayenge..
Maan jana warna aisa pyar dikhayenge
Ki log aapse milne hospital aayenge...

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Husbnd wife se bola:
"Hata lo apne chehre se ye julfe,
A-JAAN
Khuda kasam Agli bar "KHANE" me
Ye baal aaya to
SAJNI se GAJNI bna dunga!!

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Khoon se likh diya har diwaar pe uska naam,
Phir har diwaar tod di
Jis par likha tha uska naam kyoki,
?
?
?
?
?
?
Splleling mistake thi yr.