Showing posts with label English Whatsapp Status. Show all posts
Showing posts with label English Whatsapp Status. Show all posts

Saturday, 18 March 2017

Insulting Quotes Status for WhatsApp in English SMS Messages

Insult Whatsapp Status : Today we Share 100 Status Collection of insult Status For Girls and Boys in English. all Status Using Facebook and Whatsapp Hike. Insult SMS Messages . Latest Insult Whatsapp Status Best and Cool Status in Hindi

Insult Status for WhatsApp in English SMS Messages

Insult Status for WhatsApp


1. Go be stupid somewhere else.

2. Your age doesn’t lie. Neither does that face.

3. You must have fallen from heaven. That would explain how you messed up your face.

4. I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.

5. Are you in stupid mode or does this come naturally?

6. You know most days when I look in a mirror I feel ugly, but when I look at you I feel lucky.

7. Man, if you can get a girlfriend, there’s hope for the rest of us.

8. My mom says pigs don’t eat biscuits. So, I better take that one out of your hand.

9. I don’t want to be alone. But with you I’d rather be.

10. Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you’re abusing the privilege.

11. I would love to slap you but that would-be animal abuse.

12. Wow! You have a huge pimple in between your shoulders! Oh, wait that’s your face.

13. Your family tree must be a cactus. Everyone in it is a prick.

14. Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.

15. A friend of mine: Do you think I am funny? Me: Yeah, every time I look at you.

16. You are so ugly that when you cry, the tears roll down the back of your head, just to avoid your face.

17. Can you turn around and look at me? Turn back again.

18. You’re so much smarter when you don’t speak.

19. You’re so ugly you have to sneak up on a glass of water just to see your reflection.

20. It’s not that you are weird, it’s just that everyone else is normal.

21. Please tell me about yourself, I enjoy horror stories.

22. You are very beautiful, no doubt about that but I will still rate a monkey ahead of you.

23. I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.

24. I will try being nicer, if you try being smarter.

25. Calling you ugly would be an insult to the ugly people.

26. You don’t have to disrespect and insult others simply to hold your own ground. If you do, that shows how shaky your own position is.

27. Do you mind not talking I am trying to ignore you.

28. Your intelligence is my common sense.

29. I’d insult you right now. But I was raised not to make fun of the mentally challenged. You are lucky.

30. Where were you when God was giving out common sense?

31. Life is great, you should get one.

Insulting Quotes


32. It’s not that I’m smarter than you, it’s just that you’re dumber than everyone else.

33. There’s no such thing as a stupid idea, it’s just you.

34. I’d love to have this battle of wits with you but I don’t like fighting an unarmed person.

35. Girl- How do I look? Boy- I would rather stay blind and let the mirror suffer.

36. Scientists are trying to figure out how long human can live without a brain. You can tell them your age.

37. Don’t sneeze, your brain is so small, it might slip out.

38. Yes, you do have a right to your opinion and I have a, right to mine, and my opinion is that your opinion is ridiculously stupid.

39. Why bother talking? You’ll end up embarrassing yourself in the end.

40. Whatever permission you thought you had to speak to me, I hereby remove.

41. Envy me, rate me, bottom line, you are not me.

42. What would beauty be without ugliness? See, you are important.

43. Though two heads are better than one but not when one of the head is yours.

44. Stupidity is not a crime so you are free to go.

45. I heard you had a brain surgery. But the brain rejected you?

46. Let’s play fetch a little differently. I will throw the stick and you don’t come back.

47. You’re so ugly, that when people see you, they know what the meaning of “dark and handsome” means. When it’s dark, you’re handsome.

48. Jealousy is a disease, get well soon.

funny insults


49. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

50. If I hurt your feelings in any way I just want to know from the bottom of my heart that I don’t care.

51. You look ugly when you cry, much more when you don’t.

52. Act your age not your shoe size.

53. I became so religious so that I could pray for you to burn in hell.

54. Teacher: What tense is I am beautiful in? Student: It’s surely the past tense.

55. I’d insult you but apparently, you need qualities for me to insult.

56. Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.

57. I don’t insult people. I just describe them.

58. Is that your face or did your neck throw up?

59. I don’t insult people, I just compliment them negatively.

60. I don’t believe in plastic surgery. But in your case, go ahead.

61. You can talk? Quick, call the science community, we have a discovery.

62. Holy wow, it looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork.

63. Can I borrow your brain for half an hour, I am building an idiot.

64. People like you are the reason we have middle fingers.

65. If I could feed one child each time you did something stupid, I’d stop world hunger.

66. Somewhere along the line, I must have given you the impression I cared. I apologize.

67. Your head is so big, you don’t have dreams you have movies.

68. Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.

69. Wow! I’m impressed how long you are able to live without a brain.

70. I don’t hate you. I just don’t appreciate your existence.

71. Looks like somebody fell out the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

72. Tell me, is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?

73. You are the reason scientists decided that we descended from apes. If you want to stay out of a zoo, then get a mask.

74. Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.

75. The difference between us is that I have a reflection and you don’t. Yours ran away when she realized she looks exactly like you.

76. When your mom dropped you off at the school, she got a ticket for littering.

77. You saying you’re pretty is like me saying I taught Gandhi about peace.

78. If the stuff that comes out of my mouth upsets you, just think of all the things I keep to myself.

79. Rose are red. Violets are blue. I have five fingers, and the middle one is for you.

80. Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.

81. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, it’s just that yours is stupid.

82. You are literally too stupid to insult.

83. If dignity was money, you could maybe buy a soda.

84. What’s the point of putting on makeup, a monkey is going to stay a monkey.

85. A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.

86. Where did you come from, did someone leave your cage open?

87. Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile I can see the Spanish flag.

88. If I say something that offends you, let me know so I can do it again later.

89. Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does.

90. It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

91. Last time I checked I didn’t ask for your opinion.

92. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is nothing.

93. There are levels of ugliness which are acceptable. But looking at you, that is just illegal.

94. It’s people like you, that make people like me, look good.

95. I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

96. Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.

97. It’s not that I hate you, it’s just that I wish I had never met you.

98. I do not even need a dictionary to find out what a moron is. I have got the perfect definition standing right in front of me.

99. Intelligence is key and you are locked out.

100. No need for insults, your face says it all.

Read More : Insult SMS Text Messages Girls Boys

Monday, 20 February 2017

Cool Whatsapp Status - Best 99+ Whatsapp Cool Status Quotes

Cool Whatsapp Status : Today I am publishing Cool Status articles on my Cool Whatsapp Status Blog.I will add Hundred of Whatsapp Cool Status to my blog. After Attitude Status in English & Good Luck Msgs SMS Quotes
Cool Whatsapp Status - Best 99+ Whatsapp Cool Status Quotes



Cool Whatsapp Status in Engish

Here are the Cool Status For whatsapp.I am sure that your Friends will likes these Whatsapp Cool Status.You can checkout the Hundred Plus Best Cool it Whatsapp Status below.


1.I want my Girlfriend like Google, She will understand me better.

2.Time is precious waste it wisely.##

3.IT’S VERY DIFFICULT TO B GREAT. LOSERS PROVE THIS POINT CONTINUOUSLY.

4.He Is Very Poor Because He Have Only Money..Cool


5.I FELT LIKE AN ANIMAL, & ANIMALS DON’T KNOW SIN, DO THEY?

6.YU CAN’T BURN ME.

7.I DON’T NEED A HAIR STYLIST, MY PILLOW GIVES ME A NEW HAIRSTYLE EVERY MRNG ..

8.I’M SORRY THAT IM NOT UPDATING MY FACEBOOK STATUS, MY CAT ATE MY MOUSE.

9.Always smiling, because yur smile is a reason for many others to smile...Smile please...!!

10.Every problem comes with solution, but my GF don't have.

11.BUY MY ALARM CLOCK & YOU WILL SLEEP SOUNDLY.

12.Your looks don't make u Beautiful, it's the person inside who makes you beautiful.

13.The best dreams happen when eyes are opend,,

14.In “Success” all depends on the 2nd letter.

15.Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software...it's called #Sunday, please fix it !

16.Try to solve your problem yourself... Don't Depend on other..!!

17.After Monday & Tuesday, even calendar says W T F..(Whtsap,Fb,Twitr)

18.People with status don't need status.. #

19.I’ll hit u so hard even GOOGLE wan’t able to find you

20.I Wish My Parents Were Like Google. ..They Should Understand Me Even Before I Complete...!!

21.When i was born..DEVIL said..”Oh Shit..!!!! Competition

22.I'm not failed... my success is just postponed.

23.We all r born to die don’t feel more special than me,,

24.The only way to do great work is to love what u do.

25.Every problem comes with some solution. .....If it doesn’t have any solution, it’s a Girl!

26.You have to learn the rules of the game. And then u have to play better than anyone else.

27.Life is like riding a bicycle to keep your balance, u must keep moving.

28.Math Rule-: If it seems easy, you are doing it wrong.

29.When I was born. Devil said,"Oh Shit! Competition!!!"

30.I am not Spiderman Nor Superman However i am superhero for my GF.!

31.Some people are alive only, because it's illegal to kill them.!!

32.Save water & drink beer...cool..

33.Behind every successful man is a surprised woman..!!

34.Train your mind to see good in everything...

35.In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker...!

36.Hey there Whatsapp is using me...

37.Don’t compare yourself with anyone in this world… if u do so, u are insulting yourself...

38.Create your own visual style… let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others.

Best Cool Whatsapp Status

39.Beauty Fades After A Time, But Personality Is Forever!

40.No matter how strong of a person you are, there’s always someone who can make you weak.

41.If a hug tells you how much I love u, I would hold you in my arms forever.

42.If people are talking behind your back, Be Happy that U R The one in front...

43.Dear Math plzz grow up & Solve your own problem, I’M tried of for solving them for U...

44.IF LIFE IS NOT SMILING AT YOU, GIVE IT A GOOD TICKLING.

45.Life is too short to worry about stupid things. Have fun, fall in love, and regret nothing.

46.Mistakes are proof that you are trying..

47.Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need money...

Cool Status For Whatsapp

48.So i heard you’re a player, Well nice to meet you. I’m the coach..

49.WIFE & INSULT Are Somewhat Similar,They Always Look Good,IF IT IS NOT YOURS!....

50.In  Love Story, Mom Agrees And Dad Disagrees? It's Because Mom Knows What Love Is,... And Dad Knows What Boys Are....

51.I have no time to hate people,...who hate me...because, I’m always busy in loving people, who love me....

52.People say me bad…..but trust me I am the worst!

Cool Dp Status For Whatsapp Msgs

53.I don’t need to explain myself because, I know I’m right.

54.There are three sides to an argument ....my side ,your side and the right side.

55.Phones are better than GF, At least we can switch it off...

56.I'm jealous my parents, I'll never have a kid as cool as theirs ...

57."Dream" as if you’ll live forever..Live as if tomorrow is last one...

58.I am not your type. I’m not inflatable.

59.A good laugh and long sleep are 2 best cures for anything

60.Galileo-Great mind!…Einstein-genius mind!…Newton-Extraordinary mind!….Bill gates-brilliant mind…..ME-Never Mind!.

Read More -  100 Cool Status Collection

Thursday, 16 February 2017

Impress A Girl Whatsapp Status Best SMS Quotes

Hey my dear Friendz in my blog you can get the latest status and messages to impress your girlfriend or boyfriend.we have large collection of impressing whatsapp status.

Impress A Girl Whatsapp Status


Impress A Girl Whatsapp Status Best SMS Quotes


  No matter what has happened. No matter what you’ve done. 
No matter what you will do. I willalways love you. I swear it.”

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"It's not what I feel for you;
It's what I don't feel for anyone BUT for you "

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"Love is just love, it can never explained."

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"Sometimes we waste too much time to think about someone 
who doesn't even think about us for a second."

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"Love is cute when it's new, but love is most beautiful
 when it lasts."

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I love my life because it gave me you
I love you because you are my life

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There Is Never A Time Or Place For True Love. It Happens Accidentally, In A Heartbeat, In A Single Flashing, Throbbing Moment.

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When love is not madness, it is not love.                                                                      

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You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."

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I Need The Starshine Of Your Heavenly Eyes,
 After The Day's Great Sun.

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I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

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I was wondering if you had an extra heart mine seems to have been stolen.

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 We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.

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"I Avoided Many Things Only For U In My Life..
Dont Ever Make Me Feel For Why I Left All That..!"

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"Sometimes we waste too much time to think about someone who doesn't even think about us for a second."

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My day isn’t complete without hearing your voice or getting a text from yor..

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One Of The Reasons Why I Love You Is B’coz You Make Me Smile For No Reason.

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You`ll never be perfect. But you`ll always be unique

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Your presence in my life brings smiles and loving throughts within my heart!

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Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.

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Love is not about how much you say "i love you" but how much you can prove that it's true.

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Falling in love is like the rain ... It's unpredictable!

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"Love is cute when it's new, but love is most beautiful when it lasts."

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I’ll always catch you when you think you are about to fall.

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I finally realized this, I need you more than I thought.

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Everybody knows how to love, but few people know how to stay in love with one person forever..

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YOU …. The first thing I thought of every morning, the last thing that stays on my mind every night.

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My Heart Beats Your Name Because It’s Your Love That Runs Through My Veins.

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Life becomes romantic when someone start looking silently but life becomes more romantic  when somone start reading those eyes.

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Love is just love, it can never explained.

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"Without Her Permission I Will Touch Her Only To Wipe Her Tears..!"
That Is True Love..!

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You are the reason why I smile, I love, I breath, I live

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I don’t need anything else… Your love is the greatest gift I could ever receive.
When the angels ask what I loved most about life, I’ll say you.

Read More - best Whatsapp Status Collection

Sunday, 12 February 2017

1000+ Best Cute Love Status, SMS, Quotes in English

Cute Love Status : Cute Status in English For Whatsapp and facebook. Love Most important Parts Of line. Between two people Share Your.  Latest Best Whatsapp Status. 

Latest New best Collection Of Cute Status Of Love in English


Best Cute Love Status, SMS, Quotes in English

Cute Love Status


  1. A successful relationship requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

2. Relationships are like fat people, most of them don’t work out.

3. If I had to choose between loving you and breathing. I would use my last breath to say I love you.

4. God is really creative, I mean, just look at me.

5. You have no idea how fast my heart beats when I see you.

6. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

7. Falling in love with you is the second-best thing in the world. Finding you is the first.

8. If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.

9. Don't marry someone you can live with. Marry the person who cannot live without.

10. The biggest slap to your enemies is your success.

11. Let me love you if not for the rest of your life then for the rest of mine.

12. When you think there is nothing left in your life, just keep working hard until you die.

13. without you. I am nothing with you. I am something. Together, we are everything.

14. I am sorry my fault. I forgot you are an idiot.

15. I smile like a fool when I am talking to you. Doesn't matter if it's in person or through text or anything else. I just smile because it's you.

16. I am nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect.

17. Where there is love there is life.

18. I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.

19. All I want is to sleep and wake up next to you.

20. Never do anything yourself that others can do for you.

Best Love Status For Whatsapp


21. I promise you no one will ever love you like I do.

22. Yeah you, the one reading my status, get lost.

23. Heaven is a place on Earth when you are around.

24. I am going to make the rest of my life, the best of my life.

25. The world's happiest couple never has the same character. They just have the best understanding of their difference.

26. I am explosive, you are the bomb. With our awesomeness, together we are an atomic bomb.

27. A true man does not need to romance a different girl every night, a true man romances the same girl for the rest of her life.

28. I am not saying I am the best. I only know that I am doing my best to be the best.

29. Being someone's first love may be great but to be their last is beyond perfect.

30. A true friend can make you laugh until you pee, a best friend will continue laughing at you until she does too.

31. When I am with you, hours feel like seconds. But when we are apart, days seem like years.

32. People with attitude are rich by pocket but weak by heart.

33. The best relationship is when you two can act like lovers and best friends.

34. If someone throws a stone at you, throw a flower at them. But remember to throw the flower pot with it.

35. True Love is not based on romance, candle light dinner and walk alone beach. Infect, it's based on care, compromise, respect and trust.

36. I don’t care or think about the people in my past, there’s some reason why they don’t make it to my future.

37. Once in a while, night in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale.

38. When I'm good I'm best, when I'm bad I'm worst.

39. In the middle of life, love enters and make it a fairy tale.

40. I am not special, I am just limited edition.

Short Cute love Status


41. Falling in love is only half of I want, staying in love with you for till forever is the other.

42. Excuse me. I found something under my shoes oh it’s your attitude.

43. Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength. While loving someone deeply gives you courage.

44. I hate when people look at my phone while I'm typing. It is not that I have something to hide, it is just none of their damn business.

45. You know you’re in love when you see the world in her eyes and her eyes everywhere in the world.

46. The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.

47. Love is a gift from god and I have accepted this gift with open arms. I love you very much and promise never to leave you.

48. Stop checking my status, go get a life.

49. Never trust your heart because it is on the right side.

50. It’s better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.

51. Keep your feet on the ground, when your head's in the clouds.

52. My attitude depends on the people in front of me.

53. Every time you text me my cheeks hurt! I guess I smile too big.

54. Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.

55. The happiest I've ever felt was that moment I discovered you loved me too.

56. Smile in front of people who hate you. Your happiness kills them.

57. Knowledge cannot replace friendship. I'd rather be an idiot than lose you.

58. Coins always make sound but the currency notes are always silent. That is why I am always calm and quiet.

59. I love you for who you are from the inside. The lovely looking outside is just a bonus.

60. Be a girl with a mind, a bitch with an attitude, and a lady with class.

Love Cute Quotes SMS


61. Beautiful lies in face not in mind.

62. My last seen at was just to check your last seen at.

63. Love is not a maybe thing. You know when you're in love.

64. It is the good girls who keep diaries, the bad girls never have the time.

65. Your smile is the key to my heart.

66. Life is too short. Don't waste it removing pen drive safely.

67. I fell in love with you, I don't know why or how. I just did.

68. I dint change, I just grew up. You should try it once.

69. Everything is excellent in Love and War.

70. Life will give you exactly what you need, not what you want.

71. When I'm sad don't look at me, just kiss me.

72. People say nothing’s impossible, but I do nothing every day.

73. Say it before you run out of time. Say it before it is too late. Say what you are feeling. Waiting is a mistake.

74. I will marry the girls who look as pretty as in her Aadhaar card.

75. A successful relationship requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

76. I wish I could record my dreams and watch them later.

77. Love is like a rubber band you need to hold it from both the sides by two people. When one leaves it hurts.

78. I wish I had Google in my mind and antivirus in my heart.

79. Since you have been around I smile a lot more than I use to.

80. Attitude is like underwear don’t show it just wore it.

Love Messages For Whatsapp in Short line 2 lines


81. A life without love is like a year without summer.

82. Tried to lose weight. But it keeps finding me.

83. I think our love can do anything we want it to.

84. People say me wrong. Trust me I am the worst.

85. Love is like a baby, it needs to be treated gently.

86. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by selling my car.

87. I am selfish because I will never share you with anyone else.

88. My attitude is my born gift and nobody take from me.

89. Nothing is fine, but when I’m with you everything is fine.

90. I am not shy, I am holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you.

91. One day I caught myself smiling for no reason, then I realised I was thinking of you.

92. I'm sorry did I give you would impression that I give a damn about you?

93. Thinking of you is easy, I do it every day. Missing you is the heartache that never goes away.

94. When someone touches my phone I automatically turn into a ninja.

95. Every morning would be perfect if I woke up next to you.

96. I am single because God is busy writing the best love story for me.

97. I love my life because it’s you.

98. I am not lazy, I am on energy saving mode.

99. Cute lady need cute boy and I'm here for the same.

100. Hey I found your nose, it was in my business again.

Read More - Alone Status for Whatsapp
Read More - Angry Status For Whatsapp
Read More - Best Cute Love Status

Sunday, 11 December 2016

Best Funny Whatsapp Status in English Updates

Whatsapp Status Collection - Today We Sharing With You Best Famous Funniest Whatsapp Status in English, Million people Use Whatsapp Apps and Share Funny and Smile Feelings Yours Relations and Friends, Some People s  Find Best Angry Status For Whatsapp & Best Cute love Status For Whatsapp , Every user Find Fully Funny and New Unique Funny Whatsapp Status 
Best Funny Whatsapp Status in English Updates

Funny Whatsapp Status For Cool


Short Line Funny Whatsapp Status in English, Here Cool & Smiley Status For Whatsapp, Enjoy Our Big list Of Whatsapp Status, Here List of 1 line Status For Funny Feelings





If Sunny Leone marries Sunny Deol, she will also become


Sunny Deol :P:D:P ?


Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.


Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.


People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.


A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.


A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.


No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.


I don’t have a bank account because I don’t know my mother’s maiden name.


I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.


Weather forecast for tonight: dark.


I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.


Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.


Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.


My life needs editing.


Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.


Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.


I never said most of the things I said.


If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.


Reality continues to ruin my life.


If at first you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving.


I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.


All men are equal before fish.


I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.


If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.


TV is chewing gum for the eyes.


If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.


I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.


I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.


If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.


There’s no such thing as soy milk. It’s soy juice.


As for our majority… one is enough.

cool status for whatsapp


I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend.


We’ll love you just the way you are if you’re perfect.


Turn up the lights. I don’t want to go home in the dark.


I love to go to switzerland – if only to be near my m


I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.


Include me out.


One man is as good as another until he has written a book.


I saw a stationery store move.


Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.


Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.


Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.


I know my strong points: I work hard, I have talent, I’m funny, and I’m a good person.


To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.


You can’t really be strong until you see a funny side to things.


It’s hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.


I always just wanted to be funny. I never really planned to be scary.


If something is shocking without being funny it’s hard to justify.


I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.


You know what’s funny to me? Attitude.


If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that’s what I’d be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong.


Everybody’s funny if you love them.


Everythings funnier when youre supposed to be quiet..


Who needs television when there is so much drama on Whatsapp.


I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.


I have a date, um how do I get skinny by tomorrow?


A wise man once told me, no matter how HOT she is, somebody somewhere is sick of her….


If you need more TIME go and purchase a watch.


Brains are wonderful, I wish everyone had one. (more...)


No one is listening until you make a mistake.


People who have Mobile Contacts like ‘Mom 2’, ‘Dad 2′ scare me:|


My favourite type of people are the relatives who give me bucks when they leave. ?


You look like a before picture.


Well I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.


3 AM my cell is ringing…hey there you asleep?? No I’m Skydiving.


People said to follow your dreams so i went back to bed.


All my life a thought air was free…Until I bought a bag of chips.


Great power comes with great electricity bills.

best Funny status for whatsapp


Silence is Golden. Duct tape is Silver :3


On the other hand…you have different fingers.


I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.


Most of the fruits I know now and did not know were existed – Is only because of the shampoo


When you are on a 1% battery anyone who sends a message, Or calling, Becomes the enemy


A lazy person is the one who can turn a call into a missed call.


I love my job only when I’m on vacation.


I hate math but I love counting money.


I really wanna work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun ?


I love cakes and cakes love me back perfect relation happy ending 

I try to avoid things that make me fat …… Like weighing scales , mirrors , photographs … ?


When people don’t laugh at my jokes I just assume that they’re not up to my level of comedy.


we live in world of smart phones and stupid people ?


Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.


It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.


Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.


Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! ?


My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.


I don’t like people who buy gym memberships just to walk on a treadmill. WALKING IS FREE.


I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough ?


I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. 

Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.


When I was a kid, I used to wake up early just to watch cartoons.


I don’t always have time to study… but when I do, I don’t.


I feel my phone vibrate sometime even when it s not in my pocket


I was watching a tutorial on Whatsapp about how to sleep but it was so boring that I fell asleep


I love car rides so much that I actually get disappointed when we reach our destination.


I am not LazY i’M jUst on my eNerGy saViNg moDe.


Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.